Scoutess

I

2010-01-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

I have not patience for liars
nor the patience for people who believe unbelievable lies.
if one were to know me truly they would know that the mere utter of my insanity would send me to places far from earth.
I am weak
I am selfish
I am never pleased
To find my self at the end would be truly the end itself
Every goal has another
to be stronger
to be wiser
to be better and ruthless.
This is hard for you to understand
My pain is hard to understand.
No nothing of my world and what I am
I am a box in which a pin is its only key

You dont deserve me?
I dont deserve you.

Elizabeth not Lolita.

Adios

2009-12-13T08:54:00.000-08:00

http://scouttess.tumblr.com/

I think I am gonna do this for awhile

2009-12-11T08:24:00.001-08:00

2009-12-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

Sleep

2009-12-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today I plan to sleep away the sickness.

Yes please

2009-12-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

2009-12-04T08:36:00.000-08:00

How do you make up for resent?
Without being untrue to yourself.
I hate having enemies.
I hate being hated.
I want all the probelems to fade and to be able to speak to people.
Talk about how we are silly and do dumb shit.
I want to be truely honest with you and everyone without making mistakes.

Someone once told me that Ecstasy was once used in Marriage Counsling.
It seems to me that that is what I am talking about.

2009-12-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

Listen,
If you are phneumonia
Dont even....
I am in no mood to get sick.
This hit by a train feeling is no good.
Go away!

Early Xmas

2009-12-01T07:35:00.000-08:00

If what I think is really coming in the mail really is than...
WOOO!!!!! (can it be in this color too??)

NOTE:

I will also accep this

&&fingers crossed for both ???

What happened?

2009-11-28T10:25:00.001-08:00

Dante Campanaro, I miss you unbelievably.

post Against Me! 2004

2009-11-28T10:22:00.001-08:00

I need another job
this isnt going to work out in the long run

2009-11-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

cut the shit
gimme a job

Iceland

2009-10-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Oh my god I am going.
$1500 for a week in Reykjavik.
Thats just for Flight and board but fuck....i can do that.
I will do that.
Bjork here I come.

2009-10-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

I dream of being an airline attendent when I travel.
Thats a lie i think about it all the time.
Its too bad that the industry is caving in and the benifits arent as "bomb"

2009-10-20T17:31:00.000-07:00

Here comes Halloween, my favorite holiday.
Although lately it makes me miss the innocence of childhood. I miss my mom sewing me costumes and trick or treating without there being question age.
It also make me want kids, CREEPY THOUGHTS!
I am probably going to have to work on all hollows eve, which is sad.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS
Tyler has a party this Friday
Steven has a party this Saturday
FOCUS ON THE GOOD

Now Christmas and my birthday just need to come a little faster
I want to see my family, I want them to come here.
Once my birthday comes and goes the planned year in Albuquerque comes closer to an end and I may or may not move on.

Alaska in May?

It is Wednesday

2009-09-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am apprehensive of this week and this weekends events.
ie Balloon Fiesta madness

I have a fucking great 2 days off. Mainly yesterday.
Rachaella and I had hangout madness.
It began with a laundry hangout (one of my favs)
Yesterday I hung out at Brodie's( which is also Canella's and Sams)
met all 3 of those people for real and like them all
I got Cubed, which was weird/cool
made curry cabbage potato stew, yum!
I also met Rachaella's dad which was an experience.
he is so much like Dirk Drake its redick

This is from the fair

To conclude,
I am really weirded out by my subconscious right now
My dreams have been crazy not only visually but sexually
bloody blow jobs, Marilyn Monroe, 'shroom lemonade
what
the fuck

2009-09-23T10:24:00.001-07:00

How do i feel right now?
well i just found out my dad is getting married next winter
i dont feel anything
i feel, "lemme come up there"
i feel "so when are you gonna tell me"
none of this is aggressive
I am just more reluctant to call him
we have an awkward relationship

2009-09-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

I have had this lung cold bullshit for a week now.
Im done, make it go away
i want to ride my new bike, but i cant breathe
got some homeopathic pills yesterday, maybe they will help.
hawking loogies is no fun

2009-09-21T19:41:00.001-07:00

Its the kind of night where i eat a whole pint of coconut bliss
watch 3 shitty movies
drink coffee at 8pm
and wonder why i am wearing a sweatshirt in the desert

Yoda's House

2009-09-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

These fellows right here are pretta-pretta good
Originally it was a huge group of peeps
but now its Joe and Bryce
I be friended these guys at Winnings Coffee Shop
Which by the way if you are ever in ABQ, you should go.
Joe is my friend
Bryce is not quite my friend but I am working on it

Go Check them out! VVV
http://www.myspace.com/yodashouse

2009-09-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

my lungs,
they could be in a process of disaggregation

that may/may not be true

2009-09-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

Saturday was great.
I went to work for an hour.
Went home and got lifted.
Walked to Ween (it was fucking great)
On the way home went to a dance party at Cirq.
I cant remember the last time i sweat that much
Ate Coconut Bliss at Joe's
And went to bed

Ween didnt play my favorite song but they played a decent amount of songs from the same albulm. "Child without an Eye" totally made up for it.

I also totally have crush on Mickey Melchiondo (aka Dean Ween).

2009-09-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

oakley you stupid bitch
go fuck yourself
it is 7 am and you are running
how are you running?
all over my head, please dont.
it makes me wanna pop a cap in your ass

needless to say i am sleep deprived.

2009-08-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

I wanna be Noah Lennox' girlfriend

one week till WEEN

2009-08-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

I need/want an 8mm projector
I got a box of home movies, all 8mm
still deciding the plan of action with them.

Been having some trouble sleeping lately
crazy dream central
last night i fell asleep with the stereo on and woke up to NWA
Fiddin to pop a cap in someones ass

Best day of my life!

2009-08-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Guess who is sitting next to me at the coffee shop?!

2009-08-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

So I went to the Indoor Flea Market and got a little crazy.
Got a 100% wool German sweater
A pair of cool spectacles
A few old photos
A funny blue camera

This is my fav photo for right now.

As for the camera, it takes 620 film which apparently has been discontinued.
Although I am pretty sure I can put 120 film in it.
Here is the catch, the 2 camera stores I like dont think its possible.
I will prove them wrong!!! ( I have to do something along the lines of cutting it down???)

Then I went to whole foods, which was pretty fucking enjoyable.
You know, shopping, doing the cliche woman thing.
The guy at the fish booth was super cool, rasta dreads and all.
We decided to get 2 Tilapia fillets and then he said," here ya go baby"
usually I would be really put off by that but it was light hearted and I liked it
I made one of the best dinners of my life...

**the fillet before the bake.
Yum!

2009-08-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

Today I wear my house shirt that is devo-esk as well as david bowie.

I had a dream that dave (lily/ruby papa) was wearing a devo hat and when i asked where he got it he bent down and it was made of spaghetti.

okay this just occured to be

2009-08-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

In 8th grade, I had just moved back to Gainesville, I wrote this poem that now that I look back was super fucked up. It was framed and put right next to my homeroom door. Almost as a "look at this, you think your life is hard?"
Why was it fucked up and what was it about?
The narrator hates an authority figure who throws them down "stairs of death"
Another line of it had to do with being shot down like a goose.
I am pretty sure my humanities teacher thought it was real,
but really I was just being dramatic and looking for something to be sad about
Maybe it was cause phoenix didn't like me
Or I had just moved away from Malinda.

I also really wanting to say "fuck" in it but my teacher made me take it out.

2009-07-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

paying bills suck

2009-07-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

what if work didnt exist
i could lay in bed all day
rent was paid in food
cell phones were free
swimming was accessible in new mexico
florida didnt have mosquitoes
vermont wasnt so remote
i wasnt such a hermit
people were easier to talk to...

life would be absolute.

Today

2009-07-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

All i want to do is lay in bed and listen to cocorosie

dear packages...
come to my house already.
<3 T

2009-07-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

I asked for my chile taters with extra cheese and now much nose is full of snot.
gross
I wish i didnt love dairy
cause i might be vegan
but its so creamy and delish.
damn

2009-06-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your rent is due while you are gone on a long trip?
you pay it.
what if you totally broke afterwords.
I am going to vt with a little over 100 dolla
I hope my mama is feeling sweet.

2009-06-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

I think my mind is exploding.
I am addicted to coffee.
I cant stop tapping.
I might be manic.

2009-06-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last night was amazing.
I really enjoy going to shows alone.
I feel so unhindered. I dont know know anyone so who gives a fuck
Lets Dance!
Oh and I did.
Also its fun to make friends with random people.
How easily we find a connection to strangers amazes me.
1-Getting patted down at security the girl behind me says she is sorry
2-The guy next to me. We both smile as big as we can, over joyed to be where we are.
3-everyone is your dance partner.

I have a huge crush on Noah Lennox

Black Dice blew my mind
as well as my ear drums
I have a constant ringing...i hope someday it will diminish.

2009-06-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am 2 pay checks into my new job
my new life?
The west coast freaked me out at first but now I am enjoying it.
Today I think I may go to some museums
or possibly the petroglyfs (?)
I am meeting new people slowly
but sometimes i wish it would fast forward >>
Gina is my new friend I suppose.
She lived in Gainesville 6 years ago which is our connection
Sometimes I think that Gainesville is our only similarity.
I hate being under 21.

Tonight I see Animal Collective!!!

This is my new Favorite ABQ Place.
I new we would be right for each other from the first neon light.

I want to get a new tattoo....

Long Story Short

2009-05-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

I working 60+ hours a week
Sleeping in late
Got a phat paycheck yesterday
Bought tickets to see Animal Collective(a little too expensive)
Bought ticket to VT (fuck cross country northern travel)
Drinking lots of coffee
Green Chile in my new BFF

My Temp Home

2009-04-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Here I am in New Mexico, searching for a car to buy because the scooter thing sis apparently a bad idea.

Let's Go!

2009-04-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

i fly out to ABQ tuesday morn and shall arrive in the afternoon.
I am excited to see Malinda.
I am apprehensive to leave Brandon.
I would like to think that he will be okay without me but I worry.
Hopefully when I get back we will move into a new APT and we will both be at jobs.
i feel like such a nag but I can't help it.
I wish Brandon would get a job already.
Nick called last night. He mentioned opening up some kind of food related business, possible cafe i suppose.
I would like othelp him, and know i would enjoy doing something on my own terms.
I just dont want to be tied down to gainesville.
I havent found my perfect place yet an di want to soon.
maybe there are more travels in store.
i have given thought to moving to Oralando or Miami for a year, to go to the Aveda school. Although I could go to another campus too.

what to do....

2009-04-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

Do see what I see?
Bradford Cox and Lockett Pundt secretly lived in the past.
Duh

2009-03-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

I have been singing alone to npr lately
belting out sharp and flat notes while p-nasty is next to me gives me joy

i d like to not drive my mothers car.
id like to not have to drive
id like to be paid.

2009-03-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

i am sick of not getting paid.
i have given a lot of thought to getting a job at the surveylab just to make some cash.
it may be too soul numbing for my spirit at this time.
work is hard and easy at the same time.
it makes me question if i know anything or if i am a total smart ass.
i work with people that question and watch me constantly.
i want to scream sometimes.
scooping muffins is my specialty as of now.
but if i am good i might be able to go to the farmers market and sell some stuff.

i am beat.

2009-02-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired...

2009-02-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

So i rolled my ankle last week right after i found out that nyc wasnt really in the picture anymore.
this is what it looks like one week later.
yay

i hate

2009-02-11T16:55:00.000-08:00

when people tell you they will do something and then never follow through

waiting

the thought of not graduating

I can believe that it has almost been 3 months and i still dont have an internship
you have got to be fucking kidding me
a. this is a joke right?
b. I could have been working at some random job while i waited but i was led on by so many people that i never thought would be waiting this long.
c. I swear to god if Clemson or Uppercrust doesnt come through I will have the break down of my life.

the end.

2009-02-04T14:11:00.000-08:00

Got back from NYC last night.
I got the job at Craft Steak.
Here's to smelling like beef every night!!! (gross)

Now I must find an apt when I get back
which is in a week.
ek!

I am excited about this weekend
We are going to Historic Micanopy
+jacuzi
hehe

2009-01-28T18:22:00.000-08:00

I leave bright and early.

fingers crossed:
get a cool paid job

2009-01-26T09:46:00.001-08:00

Okay so its final.
I am going to New York on Thursday morning bright and early.
I have plans to "try out", or stage in culinary terms, at a few restaurants.
yay!
I hope they pay...

2009-01-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

I love kitties
hands down the best animal ever

I have been going on walks through the duck pond just to find and pet kitties
<3

2009-01-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

Argh!
my throat hurts real bad and I finally broke down about it last night.
Went to Walmart and got some stuff to spray on it to take away the pain.
Its not working wonders but its helping take the edge off.

My throat looks something like this
except only on my left side.
Apparently this photo is Tonsillitis.
If I dont feel better by Monday I think I'm gonna go to the clinic
Thursday I get on a plane to NYC and I cant be sick for that.

Yeah I said it, NYC.
I have some meetings planned with some potential internship sites.
We will see what happens.

2009-01-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

would you believe me if i said i emailed 25 places today
and called about 5
someone is bound to respond and employee me
right?

2009-01-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

2009-01-20T17:50:00.001-08:00

i think i wanna see this

2009-01-19T20:13:00.001-08:00

I hate you lack of internship
you have cast negative vibes over my soul

where is good karma when you need it????

2009-01-18T12:42:00.000-08:00

Love Me!

2009-01-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

Baked NYC
Bakery of my dreams!!!

Babycakes
Refined sugar free, Gluten free, Wheat free, Soy free, Egg free, Vegan, Kosher???
Yes please!

NOBU 57
Co-Owner by DiNiro???
The food is goregous.

The Flour Pot
Right outside of Gainesville.
Close to the BF <3

sigh

2009-01-15T08:31:00.000-08:00

So the connection that my connection's connection has is in Hawaii.
That's cool.
I guess I am just fucked.

I want to just fucking go on internship already!
I want to graduate with Liza and Rachel.
Going back to very isn't so bad, but it means I will have owe more money in the long run. But maybe that fair cause I got out pretty easy, thanks Full tuition Scholarship.
I am tired of being in limbo.

fuck
fuck
fuck

my trying is wearing thin, that's so lame.
but I think I am tired of food already.
(I will fairly say though that most of this is frustration)

And in times like these...
I always think of a "what else I could do plan"
Here is what I've got:I

-Aveda Hair and Makeup School
-Teaching degree (Montessoril or Waldorf preferably)
- AA in studio art/photography (keep on hanging)

argh.
|

Loyalty

2009-01-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

So I signed up for WordPress.
But it was too frustrating.
I couldn't get the layout right
(which is funny cause that was my orignal issue with blogger).

In short.
I am not advanced enough for WP.

the end.

2009-01-14T12:59:00.001-08:00

I really like Aurel Schmidt.

I wish I had the patience to draw so intricately.

What if I transformed my right arm into something she has done?
I alright have the fly
Maggots
Spiderwebs
Moths
Cocoons

Mmm...maybe I would be too much of a poser

POSER!!!
Thank you junior high.

In my ears...

2009-01-12T12:38:00.000-08:00

Right now these are soothing my soul.
This is exactly what I want.
I am missing one song that I can not remember for the life of me,
the Chorus is stuck in my head.
I need to revisit some mix tapes

Black Eye - Uncle Tupelo

Autumn Sweater - Yo La Tengo

Cybeles Reverie (2006 Remastered LP Version) - Stereolab

Monday Morning

2009-01-12T08:52:00.000-08:00

I'm glad I feel a little bit more normal than earlier.
But I still feel like shit.
Griffin is such a great host,
So much so he feeds Bran and I unnecessary amounts of alcohol.

2009-01-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

This me..

wearing my new glasses

the end.

Bleh

2009-01-10T10:54:00.001-08:00

Hang overs are the worst.
I thought I was gonna puke at the eye doctors

ps
New glasses...wait for it, here they come.

employment opportunity

2009-01-05T10:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Jesus,
Please have someone call and hire me.
please.
please.
please.
I would like to graduate, as well as earn money.

Thank you!
<3 Tessa

gimme dat

2009-01-05T10:11:00.001-08:00

2008-11-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

its 37 deg...feels like 28
I am way more comfortable with that
anyway...
home in 2 days
woo!

Learn, leave, Learn, leave,,,graduate?

2008-11-25T05:22:00.000-08:00

Last night was Mod 4 dinner...aka graduation/goodbye dinner.
I had fun. It was pretty casual.
I'm sorry correction.....it was a High Tea.
We had tea sandwiches and a selection of teas. Rooibus was my Fav.
This was the milk and sugar platter. Each sugar had piped flowers on it!!!

Of course dessert was all our favorite course. All of it was English of course, thanks Chef Adrian.
There were Brattenburg squares, Treacle tart, Mincemeat pies...etc

Awards were given out, Liza got the platinum peel,
Which ended up being a walnut french rolling pin, I'm a little envious myself.
Rachel got best over all, I cant remember the official name, but she got a rolling pin too.
BTW they were on stands, the rolling pins...weird.

yeah... and this is my outfit.
woo

Oh!
last night I got bored, I couldn't fall asleep.
I looked out my window and it was snowing, then i occured to me
my whole roof is covered in snow!!!
So I made a mini snow man...

The End.

2008-11-22T15:59:00.000-08:00

Guess what....
it is cold as fuck in Vermont
7 pm>>> 18 deg. feels like 4deg
thanks wind chill

I leave on Wednesday
I'm glad school is coming to end in such hellish weather.
I hate walking up State St. in the cold
it is much too steep.

2008-11-20T16:52:00.000-08:00

The wedding cake is DONE
Its been a long day...

2008-11-19T21:04:00.000-08:00

i love you montgomery
dont leave me...

2008-11-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

I washed my hair today.
check out the curls!

also,
i did a bunch of laundry today
this particular laundramat reminds me of a jungle,
their are plants
EVERYWHERE

2008-11-14T19:18:00.000-08:00

More of this please.
Before I leave Vermont's winter behind.
Cause what if its forever?
I will be so sad

achievment

2008-11-13T06:52:00.000-08:00

i did this

and i also did that too

wo

2008-07-04T17:51:00.001-07:00

sorry about last post....

America!

2008-07-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

K folks, I do realize that it has been awhile since i have posted so here they are...more photos.
I have my days where photo taking just doesnt register in my mind.
Today was just not one of them.

Happy Fourth of July!

Elana looking fabulous as always.
Rachel my wide-eyed roomie.
I stole this dino.
I love this cat, I love the dinosaur. Friends forever.

All is well here in VT
Saw a crazy parade yesterday in honor of the fourth, the locals like ot celebrate early.
Bread and Puppet made there mark <3

Internship

2008-06-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

I started working in December,
That was a crazy month.
4 nights a week
7pm- 3am.

Bake that bread!

Side note...
Oddly enough as i spent more and more time at 2nd Street I realized its true paranormal nature.
There were a lot dark swooshes threw the kitchen and a lot of noise as well.
At first I thought I was crazy
Then I mentioned there occurrences to Ricky, the other baker and had seen them too!

Lots of creepiness climaxing in my second to last week,
When I saw a man standing behind me!

Anyway....
This is New Years

^^^Thats Teresa's going-away party....(why is this underlined?)^^^

This is the beach...>>>

The Time is Now

2008-06-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

I can't remember when i actually signed up for this thing but at some point, I'm guessing 10th grade, I did.

A starting point then...
I successfully complete high school, but seem to miss out on graduation.
Pity.
The family and I load up the car and drive north bound for Montpelier, Vermont.

I did a little this:

Ate some food of course.
psh... Culinary School

And I also saw some snow..!!

My time at school ended and so I went back home for Internship.
I lived with Brandon,

Made LED love...

Had a baby(kitty)
...He was taken/ran away,

So we found a new lover,
Violet

Next Post:
Part 2 of 3

Now I must pee